The Pandemic has not made anyone’s life easy. It has and continues to alter so many things around us every day. The world around us is witnessing something unprecedented and changing us in ways that has assured me things will never be the same again. Our carefree life has come to a grinding halt, making us think of everyday events that we were used to, in past tense. I’m sure we are unlikely to forget this for generations to come. Of course,it has not been all negatives, considering how we are able to be with our family without the thought of unanswered work emails and scores of meetings on our minds and amazing opportunities to learn new things to make ourselves better. This situation has thrown us all, not just as a family but also as a community, together to get through these tough times. It has also brought about new perspectives on how we view things, at least it has for me. I would like to share one such incident that happened in our apartment complex.
My apartment complex has a designated play area for children, complete with a basketball and badminton court. My flat has an excellent view of said area, providing auditory entertainment in the cacophony that only kids can make. When work from home aka WFH has became the order of the day and the kids had their summer vacation, things, very honestly speaking, became quite nightmarish. With the racket of the kids, having video calls and meetings were frustrating to say the least. It isn’t to say I never worked from home in the past. I used to work on weekends, but made sure it was only for a short while. With no end for WFH, adjusting to this new background noise that never seemed to cease was very difficult. On the other hand, kids never needed a break and even if they did, they came back with renewed vigor.
My patience was wearing thin because I was finding it hard to concentrate. While WFH has brought about changes in the number of hours at work for all, being an entrepreneur, things have been even more challenging to keep it going. The Elders living in the apartment also started raising complaints against the kids. There were numerous messages shared over WhatsApp about collecting fines of at least 500 INR. These requests majorly seemed to come from seniors who either didn’t have any grandchildren or ones whose grandchildren didn’t stay with them. Added to that, apartment management committee put up boards around the play area and parking lot asking the kids not to make noise as people were working. None of these actions helped, in fact, children volume only started increasing.
It was around this time that I remembered reading a story written in Stephen Covey’s book – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Popularly known as the Train Story, it is often quoted to explain a change in perspectives and to look at the other side of the story. In case you have not read the book, check out a video below to get a view.
I learned first hand that a change in perspective is all we need. To change the way we think and approach an issue. The easiest way to solve a problem is taking a complete, nonjudgmental approach where if possible we can try for a win/win, which will be advantageous to all. Connecting back to Stephen Covey, I attempted to see things from the children’s perspective.
We are adults, and we are much more equipped at handling this situation. Children have so many things thrown at them all at the same time. Lockdown, Online school, No classmates and truck loads of pent-up energy. In cases where both parents are working, it puts additional stress. Children don’t know how to engage themselves, thus leading to our only source of solace- digital media, now bordering on addiction. Special mention has to be made of the kids who are between the ages of 5-8 years – Digital media doesn’t work on them, neither do books, forget about online learning, get them to sit in one place first.
The child’s perspective often goes unnoticed. Having remained active, with so much energy throughout the day, lots of physical activity and exercise and suddenly all of it turns to a zero. Expected to stay at home at all times, no games, no friends and for some no making noise if either parent was in a meeting. So, the moment some amount of relaxation in the lockdown was announced, they were on their feet. I wish everyone was on the same page as me. Fortunately, we are talking of the kids.
Neither the notice nor any amount of placating from the apartment association has done much to curb their noise or energy, it has made me wonder what has happened to people’s patience and empathy. Have we become, so self-absorbed that we cannot accommodate the simple joys that these children derive when playing, or are we jealous that they do not have to carry the burden of expectations like us? In turbulent times like this, life can change in a jiffy, I wish we were more accommodating to our little ones trying their best to have fun despite the challenges created by pandemic. I’m sure their ‘when we were young…’stories are going to be much different from ours, so let us help them create some good ones.
In summary, this incident is way similar to the train story. I am still trying to put things into perspective from the children’s side. I am not arguing, children should be let loose and be insensitive to others. Rather, it is up to us as adults to use discretion on where to hold a firm hand vs where to develop understanding.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change – Wayne Dyer.
