Dial E for Empathy

I recently saw an interesting ad by the famous food delivery app Swiggy. With titles like ‘What’s in a name?,’ the advertisement conveyed a simple yet powerful message: show empathy. Treat everyone with dignity and respect, regardless of profession or background. Every Swiggy food delivery person has their own name, that is displayed in the app once they are assigned with a delivery job. However almost all of us end up calling them ‘Swiggy’ The Ad depicts a person’s emotions when they are addressed as ‘Swiggy’. The same can be applied by calling similar last mile delivery persons by calling them ‘Hey Zomato’ ‘Hey Uber’ ‘Hey Dunzo’. PFB the video by Swiggy. 

In the similar lines we come across many people who are helping in our day-to-day lives. They can be home maids, car drivers, security guards, housekeepers, and so on. Regardless of their educational background or economic status, they all play an important role in our lives by carrying out their responsibilities. Showing empathy and respect for such people reveal a lot about a person’s character. I would say it has a stronger connection to a person’s leadership quotient. In the knowledge industry, we are expected to address our supervisors or any seniors by their first names, regardless of their seniority level. When I first started working, it sounded strange, but I eventually got used to it because I understood the meaning and purpose behind that. On the contrary, no matter how well-educated or higher in the hierarchy a person is, if they do not demonstrate empathy, it’s of little use.

I recently encountered a situation when I met Mr. Rajan. One of my colleagues introduced Rajan to me as he was interested in exploring some business collaboration opportunities with our company. Rajan was eager for a face-to-face meeting. Due to the pandemic, the meeting was rescheduled several times, and I eventually decided to meet him at his house. Meeting outside, such as in an office or a coffee shop, was not very safe. After a brief introduction, I sat on a sofa in his home. Within a minute, Rajan began blowing his own trumpet, bragging about the great things he has accomplished in his career, such as building a scalable e-commerce platform from the ground up, assembling a team of rock star technologists, selling his startup, and so on.

As he went on, I felt a major disconnect. Even if he had accomplished 20% of what he claims, there is no need for him to meet me because we are still a growing mid-sized organization. With the wealth and connections that he has amassed as a result of his accomplishments, he can easily become an investor or a serial entrepreneur with a team of a few hundreds of employees. There was a significant gap between what he claimed to have done and what he actually accomplished. There was far too much bragging!

I wasn’t reacting, which is one of the skills I’ve learned and continue to learn. However, seeing the disparity between his talk and do ratio made me uneasy. Even though it was our first meeting, he started asking me very uncomfortable questions. Questions included the following:

• What’s your top line?
• How large are your profit margins?
• What is your EBITDA / PAT?
• What is your partner’s share holding pattern?

I don’t mind sharing such information as long as the recipients are part of my trusted network. Rajan was in full swing during the first conversation and had no idea what he was saying. I managed to avoid answering his questions while he continued with his autobiography.

An interesting event occurred while he was still in Nth chapter of his autobiography. Rajan’s cook Meena arrived around 12:00 PM to prepare his lunch. As a regular process she got started with some prep work. After a few minutes the pressure cooker whistled as the rice boiled, as it does in any Indian kitchen. With the pandemic turning our lives upside down, we are all accustomed to a variety of noises in our homes – a cooker whistle, a calling bell, children shouting in the play area, toddlers crying, and someone in the family watching TV at a slightly higher volume. All of this is understandable given the changes brought about by the pandemic.

However, Rajan became irritated by the sound of the cooker whistle. Within seconds, he began yelling at his cook, ‘Meena… Don’t you see I’m at work? What were you thinking when you left the cooker on? Don’t you see how upsetting it is?’. He continued to murmur some unparliamentary words. Meena, the cook, was obviously taken aback. She is completely unprepared for such a brawl in front of a stranger like me. When I saw her, tears were streaming down her cheeks. Anger, shame, helplessness, and loss of respect were probably among the emotions she was experiencing. I felt terrible seeing Rajan’s behaviour and felt sad for Meena. Rajan became acutely aware of the harm he had caused. To make matters worse, he immediately began saying words to console Meena, which only exacerbated the situation. The meeting continued and was eventually brought to a close.

After the cook incident, many things became clearer. The main reason for Rajan’s delta between say vs. do was his lack of empathy for others. He could be a fantastic technologist who graduated from one of the best universities. He might have some novel ideas. They’re all useless if he can’t empathize with others. Empathy becomes a foundational attribute to demonstrate, especially for leaders, in a highly collaborative world. Demonstrating empathy in our daily transactions eventually adds up and makes all the difference. 

And it all starts with empathy for your cook or a Swiggy delivery person.